“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”
-Yogi Berra
As the Low Post Staff prepares for our first annual Season Preview, we think it’s only appropriate to give fair warning.
We’re masters at this sh%t.
We have a long history of predicting events to come more accurately true than Negrodamus himself. To us, he’s a complete punk. May as well have been a weatherman as far as we’re concerned.
As we sit in our penthouse offices in downtown Los Angeles, looking out over the Staples Center and beyond, we know we know a lot about everything. We’re so sure of ourselves, we end meetings before we start them because we don’t need to waste time talking about things we already know.
You won’t see any dry erase boards marking upcoming events in these plush digs.
It’s true.
The other day my Co-Managing Editor, Mr. Gregory Neuhaus, buzzed my office and I answered the the intercom by simply saying, “Yeah, I know.”
He responded by confirming he knew I’d say that.
Also true.
So as we look into the crystal ball of the upcoming NBA Season, needless to say, we already know how it’s all going to shake down. We know who’ll be Most Improved Player. We know who’ll be Rookie of the Year. We know who’ll light up the Kings for 62 points on a chilly February night at Arco Arena.
So forth and so on.
The future?
We live it everyday. 24/7/365 and then some.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t allow our Staff to have a little fun, now and then, does it? C’mon.
It wouldn’t be the Low Post if John Peurach didn’t wind you up, let you down, dance you around and toss you nuggets of history while chatting up Chita Rivera and counting the seconds down before the Pistons implode, would it?
I didn’t think so.
What about the young whippersnapper rising from the ashes to throw his two cents in the hat, suggesting something about Phoenix we all know isn’t true? Gabriel’s beloved Suns may not have a Championship Ring, but that won’t stop him from telling you they do. Will it?
Hell, no.
Antonia? Don’t ask. ‘Cause she ain’t tellin’!
What about denying our loyal fans of having the opportunity to listen to David go on about the Raptors and what it will mean for the league if our only Canadian brothers are left out in the cold too long?
The answer: Seattle might get a franchise back.
And don’t even pick a fight with Chas over the Knicks having a comeback year and surprising someone in the first round of the Playoffs. He won’t have any of it. Especially because he struggles with the English language so much he’s compelled to lash out on occasion.
The new kid with the headband? Need I say more? The kid wears a headband. And his name is out of a Sci Fi novel. Zorg?
Please.
So get ready, because we’re cooking up some rather large servings of the truth. Starting with the East and ending in the West. We got the Playoffs and the Finals covered. So stick around and learn something.
And remember, the truth hurts.
Get ready for some pain.
contact renee@lowpostnews.com
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Nice Yogi Berra quote.
The Low Post is the new Colbert Report. You guys rock!
I cannot wait.